"I know first of all and maybe worst of all. Things haven't changed since years before and I don't want to be here anymore. Not with you." Bad things- Fool
My head bounced around with how to write this all day. Originally I was happy about everything. I was dressed to leave the house (my new boots on and everything!) there was even makeup. I never do things like that anymore.
I did all this to go to my doctor and while at my appointment I had to vocalize the day terrors my mind had been replaying. That is when I cried off all the makeup.
Since I was already dressed Mom and I went down to the grove for dinner and some shopping. I had a drink- which made me feel good. Looked in a mirror- I felt ugly and wanted to hide almost like everyone in the shop was starring at me, judging me.
When I had gone to the store I saw a sign announcing Little Mix was having a signing on Valentines Day for their new album Salute. I did the same thing last summer with my little sister when the first album came out.
Fun fact-fibromyalgia causes something called fibro fog
and because of this side effect to my life I don't at all remember meeting them. I can remember waiting in line and leaving. But actually meeting the band- I don't recall being near them. So this is my second chance to meet them. Any by them I mean Perrie.
I went from feeling good vibes and going to text the girl I met earlier to just melancholy and not moving. I ripped the posters that where meant for my room and I need to change my hair because I can't wait for my plans and I hope everything falls together before Perrie day.
Peace & Love for always- Jessica
