Four Four Day

It's been a long time. Then again it's always a long time before I update this thing because Sweater Weather is so much more fun to update. All I need to do to discuss my day is reblog something because it sounds similar to what I'm going through...

See that is a lot easier to convey than writing a long blog post about my life... because seriously I'm soooo boring.

I've done nothing but watch documentaries as well write as much as I can. Any way to get out some of this 'artistic creativity that is bursting inside' as I was told. With not feeling good enough to go out and take photos and not wanting to deal with paint fumes.

Once again I haven't touched my cell phone, I really don't care. It sounds awful but contact with the outside world is so exhausting. 

I did however manage to go to Target to get another copy of Divergent since my book won't be back for a while and I love to compare the movie to book. Plus as weird as it sounds for once I like the movie cover more than the original. I think it' Tris's tattoo that just makes me love it so much.

                           I need a new tattoo...     Good thing it's my birthday soon.

And we aren't even going into that except that my sister sent me the most beautiful bracelet that made me cry when I opened it because I realized how much I miss her and our time together.

Until then I'm going to my nice little book world. I'm still mourning the loss of my book sereies...

and trying to get myself to start a new one... Life as a bookworm is so hard.

Be Brave

Hello Again.

No time no blog.

I can't say much at the second considering it's three in the morning and I really would like a little more sleep even after my nap and going to bed before Eliana (how embarrassing!)

Currently I am in her nursery as I'm supposed to be sleeping but that isn't going to happen. Since coming to Texas I saw a man at my gate get carried away by guards and driven off LAX property, had an asshole who had middle seat get bumped out when the man in the isle and I switched his seat cushion to one that had spilled coffee all over it. Had maintenance issues and sat on the tarmac for what felt like forever before making it to the Dallas Fort Worth area.

So far I have seen all the kids, most my cousins and my aunt and uncle. Apparently my grandmother isn't up for guests and doesn't even want to speak to her kids for the most part. Isabel drew me a picture that is now safely in my wallet, Kiki carried around 'fake Karma' and told everyone about her new movie and Elli is so close to walking it's not even funny.

She was also very grumpy and gave me nothing but glares all lunch time and I thought for sure I was a dead man just based on all my horror movie knowledge but she has since warmed up to me and I get giant smiles.

But honestly I was so exhausted I don't remember much of anything.

Here are my lovely documentation of the day!

Speaking of the sweet baby she just woke up
and Izzy has school in three hours. Cheers!

The Hermit Experience

Okay I've always been a hermit but I took it to a new level these past few weeks.

At first it was unintentional and then I realized I just really liked not having my cell phone with me for hours at a time, or that a computer is just a place where sound comes from so I can read.
Up until two days ago I hadn't even watched television.

I've painted, written quite a few things, scrapbooked half my book and even cleaned out my closet.

There are zero photos on my phone and only three conversations going on in my texts (only for things such as planning) I booked a random text to Texas and began rereading my last book series.

I think I like this way of life.

My sleep is still off but I'm getting more then enough of it, my stomach is getting butterflies because of someone, I go to my appointments and I'm happy. 

More then I can say I was a week or two ago.

Roses are red and Easter is pastel...

The end of February has come which means the end of Valentines craziness.

I'm so not ready for easter. 

The passing of an era

It's done. It's finally over. After a month long marathon of Dexter dad has finished the show. Granted he wiki'ed the ending in like season one but it doesn't stop him from not wanting to commit to another TV show for a while. He spent the rest of the night watching one of mom's Katherine Heigl movies.

I on the other hand made us a nice chocolate cake. Maybe I've been reading too much and can't let go of my stories because the entire time my mind was echoing

While dads been busy watching the mass murder that only kills other murders I have been scrapbooking. But not just the normal type I'm working on photos and quotes from the books that have influenced myself. 

“Once you have read a book you care about, some part of it is always with you.”— Louis L’amour

Mom’s off in Seattle spending time with her friend and eating amazing food while I kinda forgot to eat one day and well that was disastrous. Tonight we’re going to attempt some chicken and mushrooms with rice and of course cake and for some reason rice pudding for dessert. It’ll be an adventure. 

My shoulders have been abysmal and I spend a lot of time on the heating pad but it’s not killing my good mood. There’s nothing better than just spending some time to yourself and letting some good vibes in your life.

Just a little obsessed...

Went out and saw my new favorite movie again tonight for the third time in a row. I'm sad it's no longer in theaters and I'll have to wait for the DVD. It was a good way to just be away from life and being taken to this world of magic and best friend bonds. 

I can't imagine having a better few days then giggling in the back row with my aunt or mom over the lead male because (sweet sassy molassy). Now I just need to wait until it's back in my life so I can disappear a little some more. 

I haven't been this in love since TMI.

Work of Art.

Since I've been a bit of a hobbit of a person not leaving the comfort of my little home I took some advice and tried to take out some of my creative energies on canvas. 

I now know I am horrid with any form of painting but that hasn't stopped me if anything it's kept me going. 

But I seriously sick at this. 

That doesn't mean the colors and stokes upon strokes let my mind wander to photographs. I think if anything this has proved that photography is my nitch and love in life. 

Back to the (eh) paintings I jokingly told my friends I was going to make one of Karma before promptly painting the entire canvas a terqoise. It wasn't until my work today that they saw what I meant.

I spent the afternoon I wasn't shopping spray painting different works for hours listening to annoying music as the dogs ran around. 

I now have my secret pink work in progress, "Karma" & "Why am I calling him four? Or right that's his name" to my collection. 

Shining like stars 'cause we're beautiful

I'm having an impossible time sleeping so here's some more photos from last weeks Neon Lights tour featuring Demi Lovato and opening British band Little Mix, winners of last years  X Factor.

Little Mix- Move



Demi Lovato- Neon Lights Awww memories.  Peace & Love for always- Jessica 

Mime to the tape

Exhausted. I am just exhausted.

My body isn't letting me rest. Wait... let me rephrase that my body won't rest on my mattress because it isn't comfortable so I feel like I'm constantly sleepwalking. It hurts. It's hard to even sit on much less sleep and I've gotten to the point where I am apparently lashing out at myself in my sleep. I have scratches and bruises everywhere and they seem to multiply during the night.

I spend so little time sleeping I've decided to go out and focus on the future- halloween.

Kate and I decided on our two costumes for this years Halloween Party at Disneyland the first ones being very difficult that the second just being fun but still having it be original and 'homemade.' It looks like I'm going to be in some serious sewing in the next couple of months.

The thing about Trick or Treating we have learned is that the shorter the better. Because of a. you get more candy and less apple slices (and two handfuls more then usual when near a young guy) and b. it is difficult to get on the rides if you wear something huge like a gown. So this year we will be Anna & Elsa as well as Rose & Lissa. Both of them either sisters or like sisters and willing to do anything for one another. 

I think it fits perfectly. We will never get the screaming or cheering of "CHERRIOS" as we did that one year but I think costume-wise this will be the best year yet. Now I just need to make them. 

But until then I'm just tiered, feverish and angry over how no one would listen about how awful my room as has been for years and it's only now coming to a head. I'm having trouble controlling my temper and for once I don't feel the guilty about it later on because I'm just over it all. 

I wish we could move. Being in this neighborhood gives me anxiety, when I see certain neighbors I wanted to go and make some aggressive comments and I know I will never feel bad about it. I hate my room, after spending so many years sitting here sick the view just gives me anxiety and no matter how much you repaint or decorate doesn't change how many bad memories you have. 

Now I'm going to go clean out my closet of all the clothes I don't want to wear or have lost too much weight to pull off anymore. Sigh. For once I wish I didn't shop as much as I do. I pretty much just wear my 'fuck off life' outfits now a days which is like 1% of my wardrobe. 

Tiered, Exhausted & Angry- Jessica 

Horror movie beach nights.

Sarah and I spent the evening at the beach out in Malibu. Sadly we where without light for very long so we used as much cell phone light as possible and managed to pull off some impossible shots.

After we got very lost and walked an abandoned street for three miles using all we had- cell phone lights. We failed at stealing public property and warily watched our surroundings because seriously- this is something straight out of the movies.

I ended up screaming for Sam and Dean for help.

Groundhogs day- A Valentines day story

Our belated Valentines day dinner starting with lobster, steak and sprinkles cupcakes. 

Feb. 14th

Instead of spending Valentines day celebrating with the ones you love my mother and I spent it out in Hollywood for a CD signing. Little Mix once again returned to the Grove for a M&G to celebrate the new album Salute.

Because of my wonderful mind I messed up the timing from 11am to 5pm. Not that huge of a time difference. Just enough time to go catch a movie, eat a long lunch, drink some coffee and notice that the giant fountain actually had fish on it and read my book that I'm obsessed with for around three hours. 

I had a wonderful and quick conversation with Leigh-Ann and this time I actually remember meeting them, unlike last time. 

It ended up being a nice way to spend the day and I had a wonderful time with my mother and just a great day in general. 

My myself & Eye

Like Neon Lights

Sarah and I went to the Neon Lights Tour a few nights ago. We haven't seen one another in at least a year and in that year she's managed to get as sick as I used to be.

It's weird having someone going through the same things I used to. Being able to pass on knowledge and all that. But before we left for the concert to see both Little Mix and Demi Lovato we went off to Starbucks where the neighboring store had a sign up. A sign we found hilarious. This is the first time we've seen one another in a year and they had our names up.

When looking into tickets for the tour we had some choices and I believe we got the best. Second story VIP tickets.

Screw popcorn and beer being spilled. No. Here you can have a margarita and baby cupcakes while laying on the couch and charging your phone.
It was awesome.
So when we figured out we had such amazing seats we had agreed to dress nicer then one usually would for a concert. Or at least how used to. Its so much fun dressed and acting like your in the middle of the club, that's generally how it feels anyway.

We managed to miss the opening band (I was sorta really happy about that) and got there just in time for a magician who was finishing his awful tick and Little Mix began.
I might have been the only one who knew so much about them but I did sing and scream just as much as anyone would have.

Also I took thousands of photos of the girls... and mainly Perrie...

After that the magician returned and unfortunately had to actually sit through the entire of the this one. But Demi came out and rocked as anyone could imagine she would.

She is always one to put on a good show and has us all in tears when she brokenly told us she "wanted to use her voice for good."

I think that got me most wasn't just watching her no longer act like a Disney star (or dress. Damn she's gorgeous) her stage was very much 'neon lights style' and Nick Jonas made a guest appearance. But behind her during all the songs where videos she shot in different styles swimming in a pool while wearing a flowy dress, walking through the winter snow, driving in the California desert, dressed as a warrior and walking through the Autumn.

But the best had to be when she introduced Skyscraper. There was a montage of all the breaking news from when she put herself in rehab. She released that song while I was off in my own so it tends to make me feel like I should cry and accomplish so much.

When the show was about to end the screen flashed with everything she ever did from Camp Rock, singing with Joe Jonas, to being a best selling author and advocating for girls everywhere who are bullied and hurt from life.

The show was amazing and I got slightly drunk but I had so much fun. I would love to go again and still be awed by it all.

Thanks to AA for creating such an insane dress for me to wear!