Thursday, February 6, 2014

The other side of the rainbow with no pot of gold

 The honest truth is that I never expected to live past all of this. When I was younger and in the emotional health facility I came and understood the fact that one day I will day and back then I accepted that I would never be there to finish college, have kids none of that.

Getting an appointment with the amazing psychologist, Lance managed to change everything. He is the kind of man that makes you feel better about everything even when you're crying during the entire appointment.

He is the one who sent me to the right doctors and put me on the right medications. I found out I have fibromyalgia and my brain tumor is nothing more then something I don't need to worry about. So with my right medications my pain went from an eleven to an eight. An eight I can live my daily life with.

Learning I'm healthy-ish has opened a whole lot of issues for me. Such as now I need to find out who I am now. Everything I thought I knew about my future pre medical issues no longer seem right.

I feel free and yet caged at the same time.


Multiple people tell me I'm good for the fashion industry, psychiatry, cosmetology and to go and get my literary arts degree, go to the art college, go take art classes and finish everything I never really got to start.

I know the person I want to be. I just don't know how to be her.
So right now I'm enjoying doing the small things such as waking up and actually being up to going out. I put on makeup and the nice clothes I've acquired from the years.

Peace & Love for always- Jessica